Dalten

Little Dalten needed stomach surgery at just three days old. His parents, Jess and Ben, had to travel a hundred miles for specialist care at St Michael’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). They were away from their home, their family, and everything they knew – but Cots for Tots House was waiting to welcome them. Jess tells us the importance of family accommodation, and why businesses small and large should consider sponsoring a room. 

“At 32 weeks pregnant, we discovered that our baby boy, Dalten, had a bowel blockage in the womb, and a gastric web had formed, which meant his intestines wouldn’t pass food through his system properly. Doctors told us it meant Dalten would be born quite poorly and would need surgery within the first few days of his life. 

Hearing the news, my heart just sank. I didn’t know what a lot of the information doctors were giving me meant, or what would happen. Plus, being 32 weeks pregnant, I was already quite far along and concerned about what that meant for Dalten. Added to that, I was just 18 years old. Being a young mum in this position, I felt the dread and helplessness completely pile onto me. 

The doctor explained that we couldn’t have the surgery in our local hospital in Torquay, and that we’d need to travel to St Michael’s Hospital in Bristol for specialist care. It meant neither Ben or I would be around our families for the birth of our first child, which was scary too. 

We travelled up to Bristol at 34 weeks for a tour around the unit, so we knew where we’d be treated. Then, four weeks later, I was transferred from Torquay to Bristol by ambulance for an induction. 

Throughout my pregnancy, I kept getting ill and didn’t know why. I was getting headaches, swelling, and I felt really unwell. At the 10cm dilation point, doctors realised both Dalten and I had pre-eclampsia, an illness that can affect pregnant women and their babies and can become very serious. 

It was at this point they realised I’d need an emergency c-section there and then. My midwife at St Michael’s Hospital was so lovely – she kept reassuring me everything would be okay, and was doing her best to keep me calm even as I was being rushed into an operation. Going from already knowing Dalten was poorly and would need an operation soon after his birth, to knowing he could already be seriously unwell with something else, was almost too much. 

I gave birth to Dalten, and soon after, he was sent to Bristol Children’s Hospital for a gastric web operation, which would remove the web that had formed over his intestines. I was still recovering and couldn’t go with him, so Ben, his dad, wheeled me down to the entrance of St Michael’s Hospital as we waved goodbye. It was heartbreaking. 

What was supposed to be a two-hour operation turned into five, because the blockage and damage to his intestine was worse than they’d anticipated. Ben and I were feeling more and more stressed as the minutes ticked by. 

After the operation, he wasn’t allowed any milk, and had a tube put in his nose to clear his stomach of any liquid. We were only allowed to wet his lips with milk. It’s hard, not being able to feed your newborn. 

Seeing our tiny baby with a scar that covered his whole stomach made us so upset, knowing we couldn’t do anything to help him except wait and trust in the incredible NICU staff. 

Cots for Tots House meant a huge amount to us. Knowing we were just a stone’s throw from Dalten, and that we could be with him whenever we wanted to, was invaluable. Ben had to return to Torquay for work not long after Dalten was born, which was daunting for me. But soon, I made friends with a few of the other parents staying in the house. As a young mum, it was amazing to have people around me who knew what I was going through. 

Ben would regularly come up and stay in Cots for Tots House when he had time, and when Dalten and I were better, we even had extended family come and visit the unit. My mum, Ben’s parents, our uncles and aunties and Dalten’s cousin all came to say hello to our little one. That little touch of home meant everything to us. 

We were also given some bonding items to keep, funded by Cots for Tots. Dalten had two Miniboos, little comforters that help with scent sharing and keeping a baby calm, which we still have even now. 

Cots for Tots was the greatest support we had as a family and I could never thank the charity enough for what it did for Dalten, and us as his parents!

Dalten is now five years old. He’s a cheeky chap, does lots of sports, has plenty of hobbies and so many friends. He still has a scar from his operation, which shrinks as he grows – he calls it his superhero wound. He is just amazing. 

I’d encourage any business, whether you’re big or small, to sponsor a room. You never know when you or a family member might need it. You honestly never think it’ll be you; I didn’t until I was 32 weeks pregnant. Please, if you can, consider sponsoring a room.”